I have a journal on my computer, I started it in 2013 when I lived at my parents house in Lincoln, NE. The entries on it have dwindled between 2013 and 2018, but every now and then I did write shit down, more or less to give myself someone to bitch to, even if it was myself. I got to admit, it’s fun to go read shit that you wrote a year or two ago.
This entry is going to be public. Because well, I’m pissed off and some people might like to know why. In the large aspect, it won’t matter; but if you care to read I’m going to tell you nonetheless. And I may go off on tangents here and there to explain the background of something that might not be known.
So to start things off let me ask you a question? You know that picture? The One at the top of this posting? That’s my left hip after surgery. You might be asking, “What did you do.” Well…
I was going down a slight hill, a very slight hill , in my wheelchair if you don’t know anything about me, and at one point I took my hands off of my wheels to try to put a key in my pocket. So at this point whatever speed I has, which was fast, was taking me wherever gravity wanted to take me.
And…I crashed, was ejected out of my wheelchair and my body flew in a different direction then my wheelchair did which resulted in my body getting thrown onto the pavement.
So…that picture is the result of a broken bone. And I’m still recovering, according to the physical therapists total recovery time is about a year and a half, and as of now (January 2018) I’m only about 3.5 mouths into a 18 mouth healing process.
But…I only bring that up to give you a better understanding of what I’m about to say.
This morning I left the house at…
Oh yea, it is January 11th, 2018 at 4:55pm Pacific Standard Time.
This morning I left the house at 11:45 to go to a PT appointment. I also had to go to Fred Meyer and Bi-Mart.
Speaking of Bi-Mart, that is a weird fucking store. There is only one entrance into the store, and even when you get into the store some employee has to fucking buzz you in or open the turnstyle, if you want to call it. That makes you feel like you’re fucking cattle being drawn into the barn!
Then when you leave, when you leave; there is only one exit and you can’t get to it unless you buy something, or at least that must be their goal. So if you don’t buy anything you have to go through the check stand anyways.
And what if every line has someone in it waiting to buy something? Well I’ll tell you what you do if you’re in a wheelchair, you fucking sit there and wait for nothing, with nothing, just you can leave.
And the inside of the store makes you feel like you were transported to a small ass fucking town in the middle of goddamn nowhere, a store that has a lot of shit, but no type of interior decoration, just aisles of shit that look like every other goddamn aisle of shit.
The only reason I had to go was because of my disabled future father-in-law who can not used a computer even if he wanted to had to drop off some paperwork at the pharmacy, and I happened to be the vehicle do get done what he can’t do.
I can’t really walk in the first place, then I got a surgical hip on top of it. I finally got to the point where I can go somewhere on my own accord, but it’s not the fast to transfer my wheelchair and use a cane to help me walk to the driver’s side of my car. So I more or less had to do that 10 times from when I left to when I got home.
When I left the house it was raining. When I was at my physical therapy appointment it stopped raining and became sunny, but an hour and a half hour later; it started raining again.
I’m not complaining about the rain! It’s something that you have to force yourself to get used to when you live in the Pacific Northwest. And well, I lived 50 miles south of Seattle from 1998-2013. I just happen to live in Portland, Oregon now.
But fucking people, turn on your goddamn headlights when it is overcast as fuck and it’s raining. Yes, we all are aware that you can see, but do you ever ask yourself, “Can they see me.” Yes we can, but it’s much harder when you don’t have your lights on and everyone else does.
And when we look over to see if we can change lanes or not, are you in our blind spot? Well I don’t fucking know because your car blends into the environment, you don’t have your lights on because you think you’re special or some shit, and all that rain on our back windows make it hard to see. It would be much easier if…I don’t know, they invented these things that lit up that were not only a way for you to see but was also a way to be like “Here I am.”
You would think they have this problem too, but I guess not; I guess they are just assholes that don’t seem to care about anyone else’s safety.
And…handicapped parking. When you get to a store and all 8 handicapped spots are taken. What do you do. Park in a normal spot right? What if you need that no parking zone on the side of your car for the extra room required to do things like open your door, get out, then fit your wheelchair right next to your care to load or unload things.
What am I supposed to do?
What are they, as in other disabled people, supposed to do?
Does anyone care?
Close to 4 hours later I got back home, from going to 3 places! I’m not super happy about it either. But what do I do, sit here and clap at the wall; as if I need more reasons to be depressed.
Once again, fuck Bi-Mart.