What the Fuck!

You would think people are smart. You hope so right? I mean, people can’t be that stupid, can they? Sadly they are.

I’m not the best at football, hell I’m in a wheelchair and I can’t even physically play football, or you know like…walk. I’m not a coach, I don’t know what formation is better than another, I have a difficult time telling what someone might do based upon their formation. But I’m starting to learn.

And strategy plays a big part too. In the worst case scenario, don’t be fucking stupid.

I just got Madden 17 as a birthday present. I bought Madden 16 about a year prior. And I grew to like it a lot more then I thought I would have when I started playing people online to find out that I could actually fucking play.

Modern Warfare…now that’s a game I can’t play online. I run around like a chicken who can’t find his dick and lost his head. Then I just get sad, depressed, and angry that I’m not as fast as Joe Blow over there. And every time I think I’m about to shoot someone here comes a bullet in my the back of my head.

But football is actually a game that I can play; I lose some, but I actually fucking win too.

I finally understand how you could get so pissed at someone that you don’t even know and end up yelling some stupid shit to yourself like, “Fuck you, you goddamn piece of shit motherfucker, you didn’t have that ball and my player should fucking shoot your kicker because you’re a piece of shit.”

But I don’t really feel that way, so why I do in that “zone” is weird.

My score on Madden 16 was about 180-160 or something like that, the numbers might be different but I do know that I have about 20 more wins than loses. Madden 17 is slightly different as far as game play and the mechanics behind it. So after playing it for awhile I entered the online realm and currently have a record of 4-7, or 5-8.

And here is my conclusion.

For the people who actually know the formations and the plays based on those formations. you can more than likely beat me every time.

The majority of them however, do stupid shit; like no one would ever hire them as a coach. Because we all know that if you can’t pass the ball for shit and every time you run I push you back a yard or ten the smartest thing you can do is pass the ball on 4th and 23 when your on my own 13 yard line.

Like what the fuck man?

Some of them get lucky. They’ll pass it 80 yards and actually catch it. And that is when I yell at my TV.

So…I just got done playing some guy. It was the Seattle Seahawks versus the Seattle Seahawks, of course I try to do a friendly quit, I didn’t want to play the same team. But he rejected my offer, so at this point I had to play him unless I wanted a guaranteed loss.

The game didn’t even go into the second quarter before he quit. He obviously didn’t know what the fuck he was doing. But was he playing that way because everyone does stupid shit that would never happen in the NFL?

He ran the ball to the 17th and passed it on 1st and 10. I blocked it, so naturally 2nd and 10 is up and at this point I figured out that he was going to pass it, in give or take the same direction, so I play Cover 4 and Zone All but he held onto the ball too long in the pocket because all of his receives were covered. So I sack my favorite quarterback 6 yards into the back field.

3rd and 16 is up and he plays the same play, I play the same play, he passes it, but Richard Sherman blocks it.

This is the second time he’s been on 4th and more than 10. I already put 6 points on the scoreboard due to a TD and a missed EP. So once again…same plays, pass, block, and and this point I can just make it 9-0 by kicking a FG on 1st and 10 and my own 27, but before I can do that, he quits.

You would think people who play this game would actually know how to play, or even learn.

So, if I get more wins then loses, which will most likely happen, it’s because they keep doing stupid shit that makes you assume they are 9 years old and the only thing they know about football is watching it with their father.

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