A Uneducated Theory

If you read a few posts back, you’ll find out why I have a new car. Hint hint, I was in a car accident. This photo also goes into my hopefully short and slightly uneducated theory I have about the drivers of Nebraska.

Or Wyoming, or Missouri, or Kansas, or Iowa, or anywhere else where major towns are separated by 20+ miles of nothing but corn, cows, truck stops, and small towns with a population of 300.

I left in 1998, learned to drive in Washington State, and came back to Nebraska in 2013 for a job that never really worked out and to this day I count down the days until I wove to Portland, OR; At least I’ll be 150 miles away from my friends and kid and parents instead of 1,600.

From day one of getting here, most likely day two or three. I’ve been saying that the driver’s in Nebraska don’t know how to fucking drive. But, drivers in Washington suck too. Nebraska drivers don’t suck more or less than anyone else really.

Nebraska drivers are just assholes who don’t know how to wait. And I have a theory of why that is.

In Western Washington Town A is in the center of Town B,C,D,E and F and those towns run into other towns. When I worked in Seattle I had to drive 50 miles to get there, unlike Nebraska it felt like my 50 mile commute was from one town to the same town.

When I left work at 3:30 it took me 3 hours to get home. In Nebraska 50 miles is about an hour and if you’re outside of Lincoln or Omaha your average speed is 80MPH. In western Washington your average speed is about anywhere from 10 to 50MPH.

We get used to waiting in traffic, and its pretty common, not just a Seattle thing, or even a freeway thing.

Outside of Lincoln or Omaha are towns of less than 100,000, 37% of the states population live in one of the two cities.

My theory is when people get into a large town, and neither of the two are not really that large, but it is to them; they don’t know what the fuck to do!

There are not used to waiting! So they do stupid shit and break a few laws in the process just to feel like they’re not waiting. When all that does is make you look like an asshole.

Yes, I’m glad you passed me and the three cars in front of me by going 5MPH faster in the other lane, because now we’re stopped at a red light and even though I drove slower than you, you are now stopped ten cars behind me in the other lane.

Good job! You really are Mr. Top Dog on the road.



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