Attractive Cougar

It was a Thursday, a Thursday that I will never forget. The aftermath of which came with positive and negative outcomes.

That Thursday around noon I was going to get in my car with two suitcases in the back and my lovely fiance in the front seat, sitting next to me as I drive 50 miles to and from the Omaha airport. But sadly, I didn’t even make it five miles into the one hundred mile journey before it all ended on a very sour note.

We got into the car and I backed out of my driveway after plugging my iPod into the car’s radio to listen to the new Red Hot Chili Peppers album. As I pull up to the three-way intersection at the end of my residential neighborhood I see something, something jumping onto my windshield.

But I can’t tell what it is, nor was I able to focus on it. So I figured two possible outcomes: I’m either seeing shit that’s not there, or what I saw was on the outside of my car and I didn’t need to worry about it.

A few miles down one road, turning right onto another road, and merging onto highway 77 which than lead me to travel east on interstate 80, I being a 46 mile drive before my GPS has me to something new. As I’m switching lanes to my left to get into the fastest lane of traffic my fiance says, “There is a cricket in your car.” It was over in the far lower passenger side of the windshield, I even saw it, it was not a cricket; it was a brown insect with six legs, it looked like a stick, but it was about three eights of an inch in length with a diameter of one sixteenth.

“I’m going to hit it, so don’t freak out.”

I keep playing that over and over in my mind, telling myself, “You stupid fucker, you had two…two changes to pull over, and if you did you might still have a car.”

She never hit the bug, but it did start crawling on my arm. The same arm that was holding the steering wheel. To put it short, after a series of over-correcting my wheels via the steering wheel I ended up slamming the side of my car into the concrete median that was separating both directions of traffic, which resulted in my side air bags deploying, which in all reality most likely saved my arm from slamming into glass and concrete at a fast rate of speed.

Afterwards my car got shoved the other direction, being unable to stop my car due to a loss of traction my car ended up going past two lanes of empty traffic. There were cars in each lane, but they were empty at the time that my car flew past. As my car wizzed by two lanes of traffic I headed down a hill and slammed into a fence that my car uprooted and slid under like a hot knife trying to cut thought butter and by the time I was able to stop my car I was in a wheat field.

So, my car is gone…I don’t have a car anymore. And now that I’m back in Nebraska I need to find a car that I can pay for and afford based off of what my insurance company gave me based on a total loss.

But this is not about the car accident but does lead into the next part of the story, which is the only reason I brought it up. So to wrap this part up, my car has a good safety rating and because of it neither me or Shannon had to go to the hospital. As much as I want to sit here and cry because I don’t have a car, I need to understand that a car can be replaced, a person can’t.

But that was two weeks ago now and it does not bother me that much, but now that I’m back home I need to figure out a way to get a new car.

My fiance’s flight to Portland, Oregon was the next day due to everything that happened. So at that point I was sitting at home playing Fallout 4, Madden 16, and watching porn; drinking whiskey, and sleeping until noon just to go to bed at three in the morning.

One night I was sitting at my computer, doing something…I can’t remember and my phone made a sound, a sound that I later changed. If you know of Dr.Dre you might know what I’m talking about. I hear “Deeeze Nuuuuts” from my phone and I picked up my phone to read a text message that said, “Your mom told me about your accident, I’m sorry but I’m glad you’re safe.”

I have an aunt who lives in Nebraska. My dad has two brothers and five sisters, many of those kids have kids, and my mom has two sisters which gives me some family on that side too. Not as much as my dad however, I have a large family; most of whom live in Nebraska or Missouri. I also have some family in New Jersey that I only know from Facebook. My mom, dad, sister, and son are the only family members I have on the west coast.

My mom has a sister, she was the one who sent me a text message and as the conversation continues I come to find out that she, her husband, and two kids are going to Washington State to see my parents.

“Do you want to go with?” At first I didn’t think I would be able to. My fiance is in Seaside, Oregon and I got pets to take care of. After a conversation on the phone with Shannon who said, “No babe, you can go, it will be good for you, I can figure out a way to get the pets taken care of for two more days until I get home.”

I spend the next few days doing stuff that I was holding off until the day before she came home. Taking the rental car back was the very last thing I did before they picked me up a few days later headed on a 1,600 mile drive that took 24 hours to complete.

24 hours later I’m sitting at my parents house eating dinner and drinking a beer while looking like I was so stoned that my eyes were half shut. Sleeping in a 2013 Dodge Durango is not easy, and there were six people in it plus so many bags including a wheelchair. The car was packed and any sleep that I was able to get was a short little cat nap here and there, so I more or less have been awake for 21 hours by the time I’m eating dinner in Washington.

My son moved back to Washington due to his step-father getting a job offer in Seattle. They might have been some other reasons that I don’t know about, but regardless I was able to see him the next day. Last time I saw my kid was in 2011, and that was just because Heather was in town.


I’m glad my aunt and others were with us. My son is too old to play Mega Blocks now. I didn’t want to bore him. He didn’t pack his Xbox One, like what are we supposed to do? I haven’t seen my kid in five years, I didn’t want him to be bored out of his mind.

Lucky for me my aunt including the others who have never been to Washington State decided to take a 44 mile car ride to the south to visit Mt. Rainier National Park. Every time I have been to the mountain, and this must have been my tenth time, I have never seen it that busy.

As I come to find out, Heather never took our son to Mt. Rainier. One of, if not thee most important landmark in Washington State. So I’m hoping that is a lasting memory for him. I hope he grows up one day to say, “Yea bitch, my dad took me to Mt. Rainier.”

So that was fun, but weird at the same time. I loved seeing my son, and I’m glad I got to, but seeing him go from seven to twelve in no time was a shock. It was awesome to see how educated he became, he even has a larger vocabulary than I would assume.

The next day me and my dad drive him back home, he lives in the same town where he was born, which is going to be easy for me by the time I move to Oregon.

After I get back to my parents house I have a few days to try to fit the most important of my friends into and I call my friend Mandy, who ironically has a lot of family in Nebraska too. “If you want to hang out with me now is a good time to do so,” which is what I said to her after I asked if she was working. Her and her boyfriend came to pick me up and after a few hours of hanging out at their house her boyfriend, Patrick, drove me to my friend Jay’s.

It was July fourth and Jay was having his annual block party, which was by far one of the best things I was surrounded by while sitting in my wheelchair eating a hamburger and drinking beer while I stare at houses surrounding a cul-de-sac as fireworks explode in the air and a line of evergreen tress on each side of the road stretch as far as the eye could see.

Jay is 46 years old and has a wife with three kids, I met Jay though my friend Eric (who I also hung out with before I left Washington,) they used to work together at the same manufacturing plant that my dad who is the lead engineer works at.

Later into the night as the grill is being put away and all the neighbors are going home another neighbor is just arriving, why? I don’t know. Everything was packed up and other than me sitting in the driveway with his oldest son drinking beer after beer, there was nothing going on.

This lady with blond hair walks up the driveway and waves at me before trying to talk to Tina, Jay’s wife, it would appear as if Tina didn’t want to talk to her…So this turns into her sitting down and talking to me and Jay Jr. and we drink and smoke.

It didn’t take me long to figure out how drunk she was, I mean I was drinking and I might have been buzzed. But in no way was I unable to understand what I was saying. By the third time she asked me, “How old are you?” I was like, “Okay this chick is fucked up.”

And she sang us a country song, which was fucking weird…good song though. As we were talking I was telling her many stories, most of which involve a wheelchair; for obvious reasons, but she kept trying to shake my hand every two minutes because I overcame the difficulties of being in a wheelchair.

She was super drunk, so whatever, generally that would have upset me; but knowing that she had no intention of being mean I just let it go.

Every time I started a new story it always was preceded with, “Wait…how old are you?”

Two or four times that night she kissed me on the cheek and at one point she told me how sexy I was.  Afterwards she even said, “You got to find me on Facebook, we need to hang out” to which I said, “I don’t live in this state.”

That didn’t seem to register as she said, “I could hook you up with some hot bitches,” to which I raised my hand showing a ring on my left ring finger as I said, “I’m engaged.”

On a side note, she was married, nothing was going to happen and we both knew it.

As the conversation goes on I come to find out that she is 14 years older than me, but still very attractive. She kept telling me that she used to be a cheerleader.

Being as drunk as she was and hoping that she would have gave me an honest answer I asked a question that most people would never ask, but I was curious and I was not going to take it any further so I didn’t really care what her answer was.

“If you were single, and I was single, and we met at a bar, would you actually give me the time of the day and take me home afterwards?”

To which she laughed and being in her state of mind totally forgot that I asked a question when she asked me, “Wait…how old are you.”

At that point her husband came out wondering why she didn’t go home yet. And to be honest part of me was worried based on the fact that she was hitting on me and I let it happen, I was not hiding the fact that I was engaged, but it also felt kind of good and was entertaining the whole time.

As much as it might seem like it, I was not trying to take it any further.

After about ten minutes I told her that I was going inside and she should go home.

Jay has three kids: Jay who is 22, John who is 18, and Chris who is 16. John has a friend that lives next to him, his mom was the one who hit on me.

The next day I’m sitting outside as she drives by and waives at me.

But man…she was hot. I love my fiance and would never damage that. I’m just saying…if we were both single I might end up having sex with someone 14 years my senior.


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