Does Anybody Know?

It is starting to happen again, and I don’t think a large majority of American’s even understand why this depresses me so much. This can apply in other countries too, but in the context of this story it happens in America, rather you can relate to it, I don’t think you get it.

I don’t think my fiancé gets it either.

Sorry if I spiral into a vent of anger, I might just end up doing it. These thoughts have been lodged in my brain for sometime now, and now that I’m writing, I might just go in a land of causing and complaining about shit that I have no control over.

As of March 31st, 2016 I have lost my job. I was not fired, I was laid off. They told me the company was changing. You know, that might be true, and it probably was however that was just 10% of the story.

Just like a car commercial says, “The best in its class.” Class of What? Class of Sport Utility Vehicles that have a 17 gallon gas tank. Okay, good. What about the safety rating of those who have more than a 17 gallon tank?

I’m sure they got rid of me because they wanted to replace me with someone else that could do a job that I couldn’t. Not liked they asked me, and that my friends is the double edged sword of having rights as a disabled American. They are not supposed to ask. But hey, if the said, “Can you lift 100 pounds over your head and run with no clothes on,” at least I could have said no.

Either that or they just didn’t need me anymore because they were poor and needed to get rid of stuff. Which in that case, I’m sorry to everyone who works there that needs a blueprint, especially the machinist. The blueprint quality is going to go down the hole. None of the people who I worked with who claimed to be engineers were actually engineers, as far as educational background goes.

The owner of the company can’t even read a god damn blueprint, all he does is look at the isometric view that doesn’t have any sort of technical data and says, “Yea, it looks the same as the picture.” I might be going over someone’s head so let me try to explain this in such a way that most can understand.

Do you like tattoos? Did you ever hear an artist say, “If we make it that small it will have less detail”? Okay, so same applies to blueprints. Let’s assume that you had a bar made out of Aluminium. This bar is 48 inches in length but is only a half inch in diameter. According to ANSI standards there is a thing called a break where if the bar is the same the entire length and there are no changes you can blow up the drawing (make it bigger) by adding a gap that covers 95% of the object, and this is done in order to show a detailed 0.500 dimension. If don’t you’ll end up with a line on a piece of paper that says it is 48 inches long and on the side of it you’ll have a dot that you can’t even see with a .500 dimension on it. Which is what someone did, until I fixed it.

Point being no one that works there knows the proper way to make a blueprint, because they didn’t go to school for it like I did. And in all reality it can be done without a blueprint but that is like trying to drive a car without any wheels. So, anyways…sorry for those who actually needed a blueprint.

So now I’m in the process of filing for unemployment and trying to get back onto social security, which is not my preferred method of income, but I’m glad it is there.

My fiancé and I were originally planning on moving to Oregon in a few mouths. And back when I had a job we decided to stay in this shit hole for another year. So I don’t have a job now, and we are still staying, so I need to find one…but do you have any idea how hard that is for someone with a disability?

Most employers don’t want to hire me because they automatically assume I’m trying out for the NFL. And legally they are not supposed to ask, so they don’t know. So those who don’t know any better always assume the worst. There are employers out there that will give me a shot, but being told no 200 times in a row just to hear yes once is a big weight on the emotions.

It’s like people telling me to touch the top of the stove because it wont burn, but I know it will, so I don’t. Then everyone is mad at me for not touching the stove because they are wasting tax money on people that wont touch the stove. You know what motherfucker, that shit burns.

And let’s face it, there are a lot of jobs that I can’t physically do. So you might only get burnt 10 times before you touch the stove without it burning, but I’m tired of getting burnt, at some point I just want to crawl up in a ball and die because I’m tired of being burnt and no one seems to understand why.

And yes, now I have experience, but I still have to find the job opening. And even then I got to hope that is enough to make a good impression.

Being on unemployment I’m required to look for a job(s), which is all well and dandy until you realize that there are only so many jobs that you can do, and out of that there are so many of those posted. I can’t like be a stocker at Walmart, work at McDonald’s, or do any type of construction. And even then I don’t have any experience in customer service, I don’t even think I’d be good at listening to people yell at me for shit that I didn’t do, I’d be fired too fast for telling them to go out to their car and stick their head up their ass and come back when they cooled down.

And Shannon, Shannon expects me to find a job. She works in special education, so she gets it…but I don’t think she really understand how hard it is.


2 thoughts on “Does Anybody Know?”

  1. You’d be surprised, I’ve worked in customer service for 7 years, face to face in retail & via phone through account management & sales. I’ve also been doing collections for the past three… the yelling is minimal & it’s quite rewarding to be able to help people solve their problems. And it’s a sort of personal reward when I’m able to stay calm in a stressful situation, I wish I could have used that when my mom was yelling at me growing up! You might give it a chance. You’re a good writer, you can use that skill when whipping up professional email – which is one of the many highlights of my job. 🙂

  2. I know exactly what your are living. I lost my job a year ago because they were moving in a building without an elevator (I use a wheelchair). I couldn’t complain because another member of my family worked there and we couldn’t afford to both have no jobs…Since then I’ve been looking and everything about job hunting with a disability you said is true. There are things we just can’t physically do and not every building is accessible…anyway I wish you good luck and know there are people who understand perfectly.

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