“I feel bad man.” I actually felt bad, what was that kid going to think? Even more so what were his parents going to think?
I was asked this question so often that I became a smartass. Once upon a time I was lying in bed with the mother of my child and she said something that stuck in my head and was not the smartest thing to say. I got to admit it was pretty damn funny, but it was on the mean side.
Eric was sitting in the passenger side of my car right before we went to get some pizza. We were planning on getting some pizza before we came back home to drink. “Don’t feel bad man, that was the greatest thing I ever heard.”
That night I was sitting in my apartment with nothing to do and my roommate was away from the house. At this point in time I don’t think my roommate liked me too much. He had a girlfriend who didn’t like me much. Later on in life she became his wife, at that point we kind of feel off and there has been very little to no conversation between the both of us. But that is beside the point. Anyhow I didn’t see him a lot.
And I was unemployed; I think that had a lot to do with why he didn’t really like me at that time.
My friend Eric called me, after our conversation I ended up driving up the hill and to the other side of town to pick him up and turn around just to go back down the hill to end up at my apartment. At that point in my life I was driving a 1996 Volvo 850R, a rare vehicle, they only made about 200 of them in the two years from 1996 to 1998. It looked the same as any other Volvo 850 or Volvo 850 Turbo, but my car was producing more horsepower than the others. It was painted red and had tinted windows all around with 17” 6-spoke rims that were gunmetal black with a brushed aluminum on the outside of the rims surrounding the spokes. That car also produced 240HP, I’m so sad I treated that car like shit and ended up giving it to some kid in Seattle for $1000, hopefully he turned it back into its former glory.
My roommate at the time had a policy that if you left five dollars in the bar you could drink until you stopped. Which Eric took advantage of, I think this made Jason question the amount of money that he was asking for. As far as parties went, it was not a bad idea because none of the friends got too wasted to function and therefore didn’t drink that much.
Eric on the other hand took advantage of this, and my house became his favorite place to drink. The fact that we were both unemployed had a lot to do with it.
I was sitting there on the couch watching TV and said “dude, I’m fucking hungry.” Eric looked at me with a shot of whiskey in his hand and said, “me too.”
“We better get food before we can’t.”
So we decided to go get some pizza before we got too drunk, at this point I only had half of a beer and was okay to drive. So that’s what we did.
Eric was the first to exit the front door; I followed behind him because I had to lock the door behind me. As we were walking towards my car that was only parked a few feet away from the door we see a kid riding on a Razor scooter.
Just a kid doing things which children do. I didn’t see any issue with what this kid was doing, he was just cruising down the sidewalk that ran along the perimeter of the parking lot, enjoying a nice summer day in Washington.
He rolled by and stopped in front of Eric who was still standing on the sidewalk staring at the front of my car. I was hobbling over to my car, this kid stopped his scooter because he saw me walking and was naturally curious. I don’t blame him for being curious, however I got made fun of so much as a kid that do this day I don’t really like kids asking me questions.
I’m afraid that even if I do try to explain it to kids they won’t understand and will continue to judge me based off of it. Based off of past experiences I just try to avoid this whole situation.
He stood there watching me walk back to my car. When I walk I can’t even hide the fact that I’m disabled. My head is bobbing up and down every time I take a step and my right foot lift up but I still drag the toe of my shoe behind me as my legs is turned outward due to the fact that my hips have rotated over time.
Just like I was expecting, but didn’t want, he looks at me and asked a question that I was not really prepared for in this situation. I heard it from drunk people who didn’t know me, but this was the first time I heard it from a kid who appeared to only be ten years old.
“Are you drunk?”
I didn’t even look at him, I was still focused on the location of my car as I chuckle at the same time that Eric does. Eric goes onto say, “No, he is not drunk.”
“What’s wrong with you?”
The first reaction I had was to say, “everything,” and just shut up while I’m walking towards my driver’s side door.
As I’m walking over to my car I can hear Eric talking to this kid but I was so upset that I wasn’t even able to register what was being said between the two. Blinded by anger I continued to go about my business as I opened the door of my car. As soon as the door of my car swung open the thought of my kids mother poped into my head while I stood there and think with the door wide open as I stare at the instrument cluster on the interior of the car.
I looked up a few seconds later, stared at this kid. Eric is still in front of him on the sidewalk as I say, “do you want to know why I walk this way?”
This kid looked at me all excited and said, “yes”
I looked at him with a slight smile on my face. I could tell Eric wasn’t even expecting me to say what I was about to. This kid looked back at me as I said, “I didn’t eat my vegetables as a kid.”
After looking at me with a shocked look on his face this kid said, “really,” with a tone in his voice as if he was considered for his own well being. Eric stood there, I could tell he wanted to start laughing but he managed to keep a straight face as he said, “yea man…you better run on home and eat some vegetables.”
We watched this kid pick up his scooter and turn around with haste as he ran back home.
Sitting in my car before we even leave the parking lot I turned the key and said, “I feel bad man.”
The next thing I heard was, “you got him to eat vegetables man, I bet his parents are happy as hell.”
“But I lied to him.”
“Man that was classic, funniest shit I ever heard.”