Kids are Mean

sadTo continue with my story, while not trying to bore you, I was three years old and figured out how to catch myself every time I took a step forward. At that age my legs were not that spastic at random times. From what I understand, my disability was more noticeable in my left foot and over time it transferred to my right foot.

Fast forward to present time. I can not walk like I used to be able to. I used to be able to run, jump, and skip; now I can barely walk. It was always very noticeable that I had a disability and walked different than all the other kids, but I was still very active; and now that I look back on that time in my life I’m happy that I was able to do all that stuff that other kids were doing, I just stuck out like a nude woman walking though the airport.

In my late teens I was involved in a car accident that was not my fault, but regardless of that fact it resulted in weekly visits at the chiropractor’s office. During one of my visits an x-ray of my hip was taken. The left side of my hip bone, the right side of my body, was so much of a brighter white than the other side of my body. That must have meant that over the last 14 years of walking my hip bone had been rotated.

That night when I got home I was curious so I stood up like I always did and pulled up my pants. My left foot was pointed forward and my left knee was facing the same general direction, my right foot was cocked about 30 degrees outward but my right knee was also pointed in the same direction as my left knee.

At that point I rotated my right foot to face forward just like that of my left foot, I knew what was going to happen; but I was still curious. My right knee was cocked 30 degrees inward while my left knee remained straight.

Around the age of five I started school, it didn’t take long for the other kids to see that I was different. I did not have a fun time in school, kids, mainly other boys, were making fun of me on a daily basis. I understand why it was going on now that I’m older, but that doesn’t mean it hurt any less.

As a kid, and still to this day, I didn’t see myself walk. And I was looking for any way possible to stop the harassment that I was receiving on a daily basis. From that I got it in my mind that if I was walking I was less noticeable than if I were in my wheelchair. I was wrong and I didn’t understand that until I experienced the difference in my high school years. But fuck man, I’m glad I did all that shit as a kid, because I can’t now.

Bullies man, bullies are a hot topic now a days. And I’m one of the few that have the experience of dealing with them as a person with a disability. Bullies are very common however…girls, boys, we all have them at some point in our life.

Man, where was this anti-bullying movement when I was a kid? The funny thing is when I told teaches they didn’t do shit, they tried to resolve the issue; but all they did was put a band-aid on a gunshot wound. It often backfired on me too, telling on kids just seemed to fuel the fire. I couldn’t rely on anyone to stop this pain, I just had to bare it.

I was lucky to have a few friends, but the friends I had I was able to count on one hand, I might even of had two fingers down by the time I was done counting. But those few friend that I had really helped me out, I don’t know if they realize it or not, but they were the 100 dollar bill in a dirty toilet.

Other than school my home life was pretty damn decent my mom and dad loved the hell out of my sister and I, and they tried their hardest to provide us with everything we needed and even the stupid shit that we wanted. My sister and I were even best friends, and that age I think I liked her more than anyone at school.

Then middle school happened and all the several elementary schools were packed together in a smaller population on middle schools. That means new kids, more kids, more shit to deal with, more pain, but also more happiness.

I hope I don’t make this sound like I had the worst life ever, because I didn’t. In the grand scheme of things I had a pretty damn good childhood; but trapped inside my little bubble of childhood, I didn’t know any different.

Until next time: same blond hair, same (something clever.)

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