I’m On The Phone Dammit!

wheelchair tip

Right before I left the state of Washington my friend threw a party for me so all me friends could hang out and get drunk. When I drink a lot of beer I need to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes.

So that picture was taken by my friend Crystal after I came back from the bathroom and tried to climb a hill that I didn’t think was that steep. Well I guess I was wrong.

I just fell backwards, it was cool, no big deal.

You know how many times I fell backwards when learning how to do a wheelie? A lot, I learned at home with a couch behind me, so when I did fall I didn’t have far to go and I was able to easily get back up.

Then after you know how to balance, you learn how to fall. I could fall backwards multiple times a day and I’ll be fine.

The point was Ron, who I only knew for a few days at this point, came over to help me up. That’s all well and good, but someone just called me and I was on the phone man.

I don’t remember who called me, I was pretty drunk at the time, I just hope that whoever I was talking to did not think less of me because of it.

Now that I kind of explained that picture I got a wild idea, and I do not know how long or short it will turn out, because I’m just typing shit.

Many of you might know that I’ve been working on a fictional story in diary format, that will take an odd turn.

Anyhow, that got me thinking, why not write about myself, right now, in the present, and see what happens with it.

For those of you that do not know, I’m 30 years old and I live in Nebraska and I moved back to Nebraska to take a job that is no longer available. Because of the fact that I need to find a job I’m now working with Vocational Rehabilitation.

They seem to be more gung ho about finding me a job than Washington State. Maybe that’s because of political differences in different areas of the country.

Although I love Washington State and do consider myself more of a democrat, republicans don’t like to spend money they don’t have to. That being said, they want me to have a job so that I stop taking taxes out of the paycheck.

You also got to account for the fact that Washington’s unemployment rate is or was 9% while Nebraska’s is only 4%.

It was kinda like the people in Washington were just working to get paid, not to get me a job, they didn’t seem to care much.

But everyone works to get paid right? Yes, but you got those who work really hard to avoid their job and you also have those that actually love the job they have.

Anyhow, like last week or so I had an on the phone pre-screen  interview type deal for a company that manufactures a product. They need a drafter, so hey…..I applied there after I was told about it by Vocational Rehabilitation.

They (she) ended up asking me a bunch of questions I was not prepared for, so in the long run it just made me look like a huge idiot.

Being the typical politician, avoiding the question and focusing on another issue at hand would have been way better than saying nothing for a few seconds and then ending with, “I’m sorry, I’m at a loss of words.”

I’m waiting to hear back from them any time now. She told me that they contact everyone regardless of the outcome.

About my only two redeeming qualities were that I did some engineering type work for the military in a round about way and I’m more concerned about having a job versus a high pay.

All in all they might be able to save money by hiring me. But I don’t really expect much of a second interview, much less a job.

While all this is going on I’m seeing a psychologist/counselor to try to figure out why I’m letting my old job of 2 years ago still effect me this much.

My last job….well….they were assholes. They just left me feeling like I was not fast enough for any job. I understand you need to make money, I even understand I was too slow. But when you put me under a lot of stress I shut down and get into this mood where I don’t trust myself.

Then I ask a bunch of questions I already know.

Why you got rid of me as a machinist I can understand, but transferring me to Seattle was…….. too much. It made me hate Charlie even more than I already did, and when you denied my request to move back to Auburn, that just told me that you wanted me to quit but were afraid to fire me because of my disability.

I was getting up everyday at 3 in the morning to leave the house at 4. Then I spent the next two hours on I-5 driving 56 miles to Seattle. I’d sleep in my car for an hour and go into work.

This whole time my mom was under the impression that I was taking the train to Seattle and getting on the bus. Yes I did that during the summer, but more or less drove my car after I got tired of dealing with rain and a wheelchair.

Seattle has a fantastic public transportation system, don’t get me wrong. But it sucked to go 4 blocks in rainy Seattle at 4am to sit at a bus stop for 30 minutes in the rain and then wait for the lift on the bus to lower just so I can sit on the bus with homeless people to show up to work late.

Anyways, I went though so much mileage on my car. After I got off of work at 3:30 I’d spent the next 30 minutes in Seattle traffic before I even got to the freeway.

Then I’d spend the next 4 hours driving another 56 miles back into Puyallup. Once I got home at 7pm, I’d stay awake for an hour and eat or whatever just to go to bed at 8pm and do the same thing all over.

Sounds fun don’t it? That’s why I quit, but I still feel like they were trying to get rid of me.

So I’m currently finding a job, in a state I really don’t want to be in.

I should have just moved to Portland, Oregon where my girlfriend could have got a good teaching job in special ed. Now I just feel bad for bringing her into the middle of nowhere to take a job that they can’t pay me for.

We are living at my parent house, that fucking sucks as is. I now got to deal with my mom and all her over paranoid bull shit.

My girlfriend and I no longer feel like our own couple anymore, we’re kinda out of the funk of me doing the dishes, folding clothes, she cooks, does laundry, blah blah blah.

And we can’t have sex like we used to, it sucks. We got to be all quiet and shit, but I just wanna ram her over and over, but then I breathe harder because I’m working harder and she moans pretty loud.

Which is sexy as shit, but……we can’t.

I so wanna move back to the Pacific Northwest, even if I don’t get a job, weed is legal in Washington now, and Portland is pretty relaxed about it anyways.

But we can’t because we don’t got the money to get back there, we have no place to live when we get back there.

I’m just saying if she got a good job and I stayed on SSDI we could have a decent life, I hope.

I want a job, I don’t wanna stay on disability, but…………….

And I got to wake my girlfriend up from a nap. Her Grandmother gave us a $50 gift card to the Olive Garden, so were going there to eat tonight.

Then when I get back home I might get drunk and play some more Bioshock or Diablo III. I might not, I may just watch TV with my girlfriend.

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