Can I Do It?


I’m afraid to go forward. I know I need to, and I will, but some people can make it seem like it’s impossible.

As much as I want to blame my last job, it’s not totally their fault. My last job was at a machine shop in Washington state.

After I became a machinist, my work day took on a whole new level of stress that I was not prepared for.

Working in a production environment, it is very critical to get done with one job and move right into the next one. Not to make it sound like working fast at any other job is not important.

However when you are the one that hands a product to the cashier so they can then sale to the customer, working fast becomes a daily task that everyone pays attention to.

I wasn’t the one that made your kids toy phone, but I did play a role in the making of that toy.

I don’t want to make it sound like I was the designing, making, and selling your car to the dealership that turned around and sold it to you.

Let’s just take that as an example, cars have more parts than you think. Hell, my wheelchair has more than 400 parts, I should know I drew each individual piece on Solidworks and assembled them.


And I didn’t even get done with the whole thing. And if it matters to you I didn’t disassemble my wheelchair and reverse engineer every part, I used a ruler and tried my best to draw every piece to the nearest 0.03125 (1/32 of an inch).

My point is a machinist is only one person of several other people who do different jobs that are all required to get a major assembly, such as a car, out of the door.

I wasn’t making cars, I don’t even know if I can tell you what I made, even though I don’t work there anymore. I’m guessing some of you might be able to figure it out if you dig further into my blog.

To break it down even more, running a CNC machine requires many steps that are required to run a successful program. Even though I went to school and learned how to run a NC and CNC machines, my work would make it appear otherwise.

My work gave me 45 minutes to setup one job. I then had to run each part while fixing all the shit that might happen in process. After that job order, I had 90 minutes to takedown and setup the next job, before running the next process.

If you ran a CNC, or know someone who has, you know all the steps involved. If you don’t know what a NC or a CNC machine is, I won’t bore you with all the details.

To put it simply a NC and CNC machines are machines that cut metal, wood, plastics, or composites to make a detailed part, such as a belt buckle.

NC stands for Numerical Control, the first C stands for computer, therefore CNC stands for Computer Numerical Control blah blah blah and some more smart shit.

Anyways, the job was highly physical…and I’m not. I was able to stand at the machine for a 10 hour day, I had a table and a machine to lean on.

However going from place to place, in an unorganized shop, to get a 0.750 endmill was a lengthy process.

I needed to walk over to my wheelchair, sit in my wheelchair, then roll around trying to find this endmill.

Once I found this tool I had to roll back to the machine, park on the side of the machine, and get back out of my wheelchair.

Oh shit, the program calls for a #7 drill as tool 2. Now I had to walk back over to my wheelchair, sit down, go find a #7 drill, roll back to the machine, park my wheelchair, then set the tool that was part of setup.

Then if that drill broke, I had to redo the above, then you had to reset the tool height, it might be .013 higher than the last one, and unless you tell the machine of a change it might just slam the tool into the material.

I was trying so hard to work so fast that I no longer trusted myself. I was asking a lot of questions that I already knew. That more or less made me look like I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing.

Because of that I ended up scraping a lot of parts.

Instead of firing me they gave me an option to be transferred to Seattle, I’ve worked in Seattle for about a year.

Driving 112 miles per day and getting up at 3 in the morning and getting home at 7 in the evening just to go to bed an hour later so I could wake up and do it all over again was too much.

They denied my request to move back to Auburn, so I quit. I only worked an 8 hour job, but I was out of the house for 16 hours a day.

That’s the main reason I still hold a grudge against them and feel like they were trying to get rid of me for some time.

They were fucking hiring 30 people a week to work in Auburn, and you mean to tell me that they can’t find room for 1 person.

That and the new “CEO” was firing everyone for some bullshit reason just to hire new people who didn’t make as much.

With all of that I now feel like all CEO’s are assholes that don’t care about anyone that doesn’t make them money. I know I have the knowledge to do the job, but I tend to do everything slower than most.

Hell, I started this post 2 hours ago and I’m not even at my main point.

I’m very smart, It just takes me a bit to catch onto something. When I first got my drivers licences I had to have help driving to a certain location before I could do it by myself.

My girlfriend is very good at directions, she know Lincoln better than I do, I still use GPS to get anywhere I have only been to ten times.

I’m now in Nebraska and I’m working with Vocational Rehabilitation to help me find a job, ironically Nebraska seems more on top of it than Washington did.

Yesterday I got 4 places that are all hiring for some type of mechanical engineering position. I know I’m going to start at the bottom of the ladder, and that’s what I want to do.

Until I know more about engineering, I’m totally happy with an engineer either drawing a rough sketch and telling me “turn this into a detailed blueprint,” or having to update an old blueprint that had some engineering changes to it.

That being said, I’m afraid to get a new job.

If I was able to get that job with my dad at least he knows me and my learning style and can explain something to me that makes sense.

What if I don’t work as fast as they want me to? Am I going to get into that same slow and depressed mood where I don’t trust myself? Am I going to be fired so they can hire someone who is less qualified than me but can do the job because he trusts himself?

I don’t know man…. I can’t blame them, but it’s easy to do, he we as asshole, so it makes it easier.

What if my next boss is an asshole that doesn’t bother teaching me? Will he just let go of me because I can’t work or learn as fast as someone else?


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